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Thursday, 9 June 2016

Duck Trouble - 'Show Not Tell'


As I took out the piece of bread that I had been saving to devour later on, hungry ducklings rapidly scurried over to me. I bent over to give them a piece of bread not noticing that as I stood back up my other hand was empty. Looking back at all the ducks, a variety of ravenous ducks were now eagerly fighting over my meal.  

I reached into my bag remembering my leftover delicious butter chicken pie. As I opened up the paper packet an appetizing smell filled the atmosphere. Now a swarm of vicious ducks were heading my way. “Shoo shoo!” I shouted. The terrified ducks hurried away as fast as they could. Now that I had my peace, I devoured the tasty pie all alone as if a bear had just eaten right after hibernation.

3 comments:

  1. Hi Seini,
    I loved how you used your punctuation and the way you could compare so many things awesome work. I couldn't spot any faults. Keep up the great work!

    From: Cameo

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Seini,

    I like the way you added interesting words into your story. Your words made me want to read more. I also like how you used the punctuation's correctly. Keep up the good work!

    Taunese

    ReplyDelete